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Title : Somewhere in Time (2/2) Chapter : 2 of 2 Pairing : Steven Gerrard / Xabi Alonso (little Stevie/Iker???)
Summary : Stevie has got back to the past, to the date when the accident occurred, what could he do to save his love?
Warnings : Angst
Disclaimer : Nothing true!
Feedbacks : PLEASE PLEASE! Feedbacks are loved! It didn’t have much time for Stevie to think as Xabi was already climbing up on him. The scent, the touch and the kiss he had been dreaming for 20 years, Stevie was having them back. “Why you keep looking at the watch, amor? You prefer the watch than me?” stroking his lover chest as Xabi leaned on him after all these exciting moments and bites shared with each other. Stevie kissed the boy immediately just before the boy could realize something weird was going on in his eyes. The Scouser didn’t want to frighten the lad, and of course, no one would actually believe what he was now facing, even for Stevie, however, he needed to face it, it’s Xabi who would suffer, for Xabi’s sake, and more, for the sake of their future. The elder’s mind got blurred again as Xabi’s hand was once again approaching his erection. Stevie loved the way the boy turning him on, his soft palm, his lips and even his breaths were so irresistible, his bodyline was sexy with evenly-built muscles creating the crests and troughs, his hair, soft and shiny liked the silk curtain hanging by the windows, and his eyes, gentle, sparkling and beautiful just like the hazel diamonds glittering under the sunlight, they were the most beautiful things he had ever seen in his life. “Aww… Stevie love, would you mind to be a bit slower, amor,” Stevie who blushed with excitement immediately slowed down his motion into his love, “I’m sorry, love, I didn’t mean to hurt yer, I’m sorry.” The younger replied with a hot kiss and a gentle smile. The smile turned Stevie on and on, he moaned and moaned inside the Spaniard, mixing the sweat of himself with that of the boy, they shared the heat until a fountain came out from the boy’s stuff. It didn’t take too long for Stevie to shoot inside the lad’s tight ass; it has been twenty bloody years. The two sweeties didn’t get up from their bed until 10 in the morning, finished their third love-making and got back to their duties. Both of them would be working for the morning duty alone and so, at 3pm in the afternoon, they’re sitting in the garden, sipping their cups of tea. It was always an enjoyable moment for them to share. Xabi loved the nature, he looked beautiful whenever with it, his face and especially his eyes kept telling everyone how amazed he was with the God’s creations. Stevie was not really paying attention for this; however, what he concerned most was the way to prevent the accident happening, the accident which took Xabi’s life before. The Scouser was glad he could live his life once more with Xabi besides him; he had to save his love, that’s the only thing swirling in his mind. “The gas leakage……” murmured Stevie as he sipped his emptied cup without bothering much. “Stevie love, are you okay? Something got your mind?” lightly pressed his palm on the elder, Xabi shot him a worried look. “Oh lad, I’m fine, don’t worry, just remember something to work on. Xabi, I love yer.” Stevie decided not to mention about the time-travel he’s had, no one would actually understand and it’s not gonna be more convenient if people around treated me a psycho. He needed to sort things out and save the lad; he didn’t have much time left. “Xabi, I have to go for a minute, will meet yer in the lab after that, a’right?” Stevie rushed in the building as the Spaniard gave him a worrying nod, the elder saw a lovely girl hopping down the steps with her mother following closely. He smiled at the girl until when he saw the stain. “What the fuck!” The same chocolate stain laid on the little sweetheart face. It’s the mark with curse, the mark that indicated everything was exactly the same in his memory. “No, it’s going to be fine, no.” Stevie decided it should be the best for him to check all the pipes as the accident caused by gas leakage. It’d not be a wise decision for him to work it out all on his own; as a result, he called Carra for help. “Stevie yer’re so strange today, it’s not a matter for us to bother, yer’ve become a school patrol?” Carra replied with a absent-minded sneer, not really paying attention to the silly suggestion from his mate. “Let’s tell the administration office if you think your dream is something they concern, they will arrange a check-up in one or two days time, it’ll be fine for yer?” “Please Carra, I really have a gut feeling that there would be accident if we didn’t really check them up, please, for our safety, it wouldn’t take yer much time, I’d do the lowest three floors and yer just needed to check two, okay? Please lad, for everyone’s sake!” With much effort in persuading his good friend, Stevie started his work as he heard the confirmation. The Scouser was all serious and careful, he checked every tiny inch of the pipes, room by room and even for the lavatories. Stevie could risk as the bet was so important for him, he couldn’t live without Xabi. Gerrard felt much more relieved as he finished all the check-ups and heading to the lab where Xabi stayed. The Spaniard so concentrated that he didn’t notice his entry. As Xabi put down the test-tubes, arms surrounded him, the boy knew exactly who it was as he felt the warm embrace which he was in, the scent of the after-shave his love always used, the rigidity of his chest and the strong arms holding him tight, every time he was in Stevie’s embrace, He felt like he would die for it with no regret, he loved the Scouser so much and he’s his life. The elder pressed a passionate kiss on Xabi’s lips, trying hard to deliver all his love to the boy, “I would save yer, I would!” that’s the only thing in his mind.The boys didn’t break the kiss until it was really too hard for them to take their breath “Hola, Xabi love, working hard again?” Xabi shot a gentle smile to the guy, “So everything is sorted? You worried me amor.” Paid a light kiss again on the guy and surrounded his arms around his waist. He loved him so much, especially his accent when speaking Spainish. “Yea, Xabi, yea, everything’s sorted, everything will be fine, I love yer, promise me yer’ll never leave me, promise me.” Stevie didn’t want to let the boy go, he didn’t care about the experiments anymore, he didn’t care about the achievements anymore, what he wanted was Xabi, it’s Xabi he would care for his whole life. As Xabi gave him an ensuring kiss, Stevie got a flash in his mind, he should give a call to Carra. Carra was a promising friend, but there would be no harm to make sure their safety. Stevie told his boy that he’s heading out for an urgent call and then he walked back to his office. On the way to the room, he saw Iker coming with his face buried into his book, surely not noticing the wet floor ahead. As Stevie was about to warn him, Iker slipped onto the floor. The Scouser was supposed to be laughing out and teasing the handsome, however, he turned pale instead. He knew it would happen, but he was just not able to help, not able to alter the result, and not able to change the past. Without the sense to give Iker a hand at this very moment, Stevie rushed back to his office being all nervous. As he bent through the corner, he noticed a fire distinguisher. “I should bring it to Xabi, I need to take it for him!” Stevie lifted the bottle and started running; he needed to save the time and ensured his boy’s safety! Life was full of contradictions; Stevie had never realized it was all a mistake, a mistake that made him regret for his whole life. Gas started to leak out from the broken pipe, the pipe which laid around the corner of the floor, the pipe which had been staying besides the distinguisher! “Thanks Carra, thanks lad! I don’t know how to thank yer for yer help, yea, I really feel a lot better with yer help, owe yer a beer, a’right? Hahaha, gotta go, ta-rah!” Stevie was really relieved, although Iker’s incident had made him even more worried; the assurance from Carra really helped a lot, he’s a reliable lad with no doubt. It didn’t take much time before Stevie started to head out. “BANG!!!” Things were on fire, the door, the curtains covering the windows and the furniture! Stevie tried his very best to get out of the room, but it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, it’s not working at all! Stevie started to pray. He was not praying for his safety, what he wished was having Xabi safe, he could give his life, he had gained 20 years already even though it’s a life without a soul, he didn’t dare to have it again, he needed to protect the lad! “Please Xabi, don’t come, just go away, and get to a safe place. Father, I have never prayed to you nor be a good Christian, but please, please save the soft lad, all sins are mine, take me away or even bring me down the hell, please, just save the lad, he’s done nothing evil, please……” To Stevie’s horror, the nightmare came again. “Stevie! Are you here? Answer me amor!” Xabi had never faced this situation before, he was scared, but he knew he needed to stay calm; saving the Scouser was what he had to do. “Xabi, just go! Don’t bother me! Just go! I’ll be fine! Just go!” Stevie shouted with all his effort, coughed seriously as the thick smoke got inside his lungs. The Scouser was more than terrified, Xabi came again! He should never come! Stevie tried to carry on his shouting but the cracking sound was too loud and the smoke was too thick, all he could do was coughing heavily. Xabi broke into the room with his body, his gown was on fire but he didn’t really bother it. Xabi handed the research notes to him and pushed him out the burning room. “Stevie, please, keep our research, make our dream comes true! And promise me, stay alive! Stay good for me!” Stevie was not going to give up; he was ready to fight back into the room. He might not be able to save both of them or even just Xabi, but it would be an option if he could simply die with his love. As Stevie rushing towards the fire frame, he heard a noise. His mobile phone was ringing! The phone in his pocket he had never noticed was ringing! Things around him started to swirl like a black hole, it went faster and faster, Stevie was trying hard to resist it but the force was just too strong for him to withstand. He was dragged away and he knew it was the last face of his love, once again.
"NO! XABI! NO..................NO........................." his voice disappeared in the air. It was 2025 again as Stevie hit his head onto the desk before gaining back his consciousness, he kept crying and crying, swearing to himself for being not able to save Xabi once again, cursing the God for granting no mercies for his love. His heart was broken into pieces and he dragged out his phone and crashed it on the door. “Xabi love, please forgive me, will yer? I don’t want to be alone in the world anymore, let me join yer please, forgive me……” Stevie took a scalpel out, ready to give his dead sorrow a relief until a knock on the door. “Stevie?” The Scouser faced up and shocked with joy. Tags: alonso, carra, gerrard, iker, stevie, xabi
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Title : Somewhere in Time (1/2) Chapter : 1 of 2 Pairing : Steven Gerrard / Xabi Alonso (little Stevie/Daniel, Stevie/Nando???)
Summary : This fic is absolutely an AU fic, and this is my FIRST AU fic! Your encouragements are essential! The story is about a pocket-watch, one with much meory and love, and then something more about the old days, you will love it!
Warnings : Angst
Disclaimer : This is purely something made up.
Feedbacks : PLEASE PLEASE! Feedbacks are loved! Somewhere in Time Dr. Steven Gerrard, the winner of Nobel Prize medical award 2025, received the award from the representative from Karolinska Institutet of Sweden, was delivering his speech on the stage. ” Thank yer, thank yer very much. I am really glad that I have the chance to stand here and deliver me speech, it is surely me honour to have the prize. I really hope the cure can bring the HIV-infected patients hopes and wish them all the best. Oh yes, please allow me to present my special thanks to me assistants and me research team, thanks for yer patience in dealing with my bad temper and all the helps yer all have provided, without yer all, nothing can come to success. And…… that’s it. Thank yer.” Masked with a fake smile, Dr. Gerrard nodded to the lady to present his gratitude as he headed down the stage surrounding by the big clap. It was supposed to be a great day for him; after all, winning a Nobel Prize was not an easy thing, but in fact, his heart had never been as hollow. Carra, Dan and Nando decided to throw their doctor a party for celebration in surprise, together with the other lads in the research team. They called the doctor for a drink as they got back to Liverpool and secretly arranged all the decorations and stuff for the night.Nothing to be surprised, Stevie has become Dan and Nando’s idol for years, adoring his talent, his attitude, and the most, his passion, becoming a member of the research team was an honour, they left their own countries with no regrets. “Hi lad, yer can wait for me inside, it’s cold here.” Dan blushed as Stevie shot him a bright smile. “Hi Doctor, just want to make sure you are fine with the flight,” trying to hide his blushed face, Dan led the way in without looking at Stevie’s eyes. . “Yer’re kidding me, I’m fine yer know, but anyway, thanks for yer care,” shooting another smile at the little boy as he followed. Dan knew it was weird, but he just couldn’t stop himself for dreaming of the doctor. In his dreams, not to mention the erotic part of them, the gentle and caring smiles on the doctor’s face killed him most. Dan saw that once in real life as he entered his office at the time Stevie looking at his pocket-watch, he had never seen such a warm smile before, it seemed to him that everything would probably melt in front of it. The little Danish didn’t want to admit his fancy on Gerrard, but he knew it had no use to deny. “Congratulations!” the lads greeted Stevie with a big surprise, blowing whistles and clapping hands as the doctor entered the bar. Stevie for sure, was happy to see the lads, the boys who had been working with him days and nights for the success they have achieved earlier the day. He thanked them one by one, hugging them and encouraging them for a more successful future. “Hola Nando, whose idea is that?” Stevie finally settled down by joining the table with Nando, Carra and Dan. “It’s Carra, Dan and me, we hope you enjoy it,” blushed as he replied. Nando loved to hear the doctor speaking Spanish, he found it warm and cheering every time he heard that. Alright, it might be just the “Hola”, but the Spaniard could feel Gerrard was actually trying to get close to him by speaking his language, although it was nothing true. Nando didn’t dream to have his love as the doctor seemed to have no idea in getting into someone, but sharing a bit of warmth from the slightest contacts could cheer him all day. “Carra, mind yer brain, will yer? It’s the fifth already,” Stevie warned his fellow mate for being too excited, “Make sure you’d be fine for tomorrow’s demonstration for the lads, okay?” Carra nodded with a silly smile and continued his beer. The Scouser was very important to Gerrard, he’s the one who saved his life from the fire, the one who walked along with him all the time whenever challenges and troughs ahead, and the one who brought him out from the gulf, Gerrard shared every tiny bits of his life with him even his deepest secret, he was a friend more than just an subordinate. Laughing at stupid Crouch dancing in the middle of the hall, Stevie decided it’s time for him to leave, without thinking, he drove back to his lab, the place occupied him all days and all nights. “Congratulations, Dr. Gerrard!” Lilly-Ella and Lexie greeted Stevie as they headed out the laboratory after ensuring everything was fine before leaving. The two assistants were always hard-working and careful, Stevie nodded, the doctor actually liked them very much, especially seeing them giggling together, the smiles on their faces, the happiness between them, and the harmonic atmosphere among the two, he couldn’t stop himself from drawing his mind back to the old days. The days once he was in heaven, filled with nothing but happiness. Stevie headed into his office, threw himself into the arm-chair, and played with his pocket-watch as always. He never showed his pocket-watch to anyone, because it would probably bring out all his emotions and therefore, he had to prevent it to stay professional, pride and intellectual in front of the lads. Stevie was never stingy for his smile, he liked giving bright one to his lads to cheer them up, however, far different from the one he gave him, the gentleness and love injected would never be shared with anyone else, just Xabi and the picture of him in the watch. “I made it, Xabi love, I made it out, all for yer. I know yer can hear me, yer kind-hearted lad, must be smiling at me from heaven, no? Yer know, I love yer smile, yer sheepish smile…… ” Having been drained out all his power in the past 15 years for his dream, Stevie whispered silently to Xabi in the picture. The dream of inventing the cure for HIV-infected patients was actually a dream shared between the two doctors, Steven Gerrard and Xabi Alonso. Xabi was a genius; he graduated as the first in the medical school in England despite his mother tongue being Spanish. He was 18 and Stevie was 19. Stevie liked the lad very much from the very beginning; the Spaniard was always brilliant, even Stevie being the second in school would sometimes felt himself stupid. Everyone adored the boy, he was always calm and smart, he’s never been arrogant or impolite, and therefore schoolmates kept sticking to him. However, Xabi just seemed to keep a distance between everyone and him, not sharing his personal stuff with anyone and avoiding unnecessary contact with other lads. Stevie thought that he’s lucky to be his partner during an operation as they got into the same hospital after graduation, his skillful hands had amazed him and his passions on his work had always been the motives for Stevie to work harder. Stevie had never dreamed to have Xabi although he had fancied him since their second year in school; he respected Xabi for his professionalism. Every smile from the Spaniard irritated his nerve; Stevie had to try really hard to look normal in front of him. They were never too far or close, nothing more than a plain friendship between them. It’s the day when everything went different. Stevie got into the restroom half-way of his overnight duty, it’s always harsh to stay up at these hours, he turned on the tap and washed his face under the running water to refresh himself. As Stevie was about to get out, he heard a strange voice from the corner, it took him some time to realize it was the sobbing of a lad. Worrying something bad might have happen, Stevie approached to check if the guy was alright. The sight had absolutely shocked him as he bent into the corner, it’s Xabi. The Spaniard kept sobbing heavily but tried his best to stay silent; the scene was so heart-breaking. Without much hesitation, Stevie leaned forward to the crying angel, surrounded his strong arms around the lad and got him into his embrace. For the minute, no one actually spoke, Xabi cried more heavily on Stevie’s shoulder as if he had never ever cried in his life; drying the tears from Xabi with his gown, Stevie gently patted on the lad, tried his best to comfort him. “Steven, I… I couldn’t… couldn’t help him at all! Why? No matter how hard I tried, it’s just……. It’s just not working! How can I be so use… useless?” It’s the first time for Stevie to learn his feeling, and the first time to see his denial to himself; Gerrard had never imagined the confident Spaniard would ever have this feeling. “It’s ok, Xabi, it’s ok. Things would be fine, it’s ok.” Stevie was never good at words, and at the moment, what he wanted to do was to hold the lad tight and gave him all his support. “Tell me what’s happened, shared with me yer worries, let me take a part of it for yer, Xabi, I’d be here for yer.” The two lads had an unforgettable night in their room. Itwas the AIDS which brought Xabi’s brother to heaven, Mikel Alonso, was never a casual guy; he got the HIV infection from a blood donation event when Xabi was 14. Xabi spent all his time on books, kept studying hard all the time when boys with the same age played on pitches. He knew well that his brother wouldn’t have too much time to wait; he got into the medical school the next year and finished the degree with the best result in Liverpool medical school, graduated from one of the greatest schools in the world. Xabi took the opportunity to work in the school’s hospital so that he could keep his research on the cure for his brother. He was so busy with his work and research and had no extra time for catching up with others, therefore as time passed, the lad himself became the only one in his life other than his work. Stevie had always been nice to him, giving him support and encouragement all the time, he’s a smart lad too, Xabi liked him very much, however, time was limited; he had to get the cure for his brother.. Unfortunately, the complication took Mikel, Mikel died in great pain and what Xabi could do was holding his hands with his gloves on, the younger could not even touch the elder’s bare skin for wounds covered all over his body. Xabi bursted out in the restroom that night to prevent from disturbing other patients, he wanted so much that his tears could wash away his sorrow and the dead feeling; however, it didn’t work at all. It was the arms holding him tight at the moment brought him back to life; the embrace was a warm as his brother’s. At that moment, Xabi knew he could rely on him. Enjoying the sweet memories of Xabi, the doctor’s face changed drastically all in a sudden, the horrified expression spread clamped down his warm and sweet smile within a second. “What the fuck! What’s happened! God, please don’t be so cruel to me, okay? Don’t take Xabi away from me once more, please! I beg yer! Please!” Stevie couldn’t stop himself sob heavily as he realized Xabi’s photo has actually faded more with his left ear lobe already disappeared! The hurt Scouser held the pocket-watch tight to his chest; tears kept rushing out from his eyes until he was too tired to sit upright. It was a gift from Xabi as they finished their doctoral degrees; Xabi even put his photo in it. “You can see me all the time now, no? I love yer, amor, congratulations!” It was the last kiss from the lad. Stevie sobbed every time he thought of Xabi’s death, the boy could actually run away if he didn’t come back to save him, It was the terrible fire which took him away. Stevie insisted to make an urgent call just before starting the experiments and tests, thus Xabi got back to the lab and kept working on the cure alone, he jotted down every little details as he could some clues for the medicine. Although Mikel was dead, Xabi would still keep the work going so as to benefit the world and give hopes to the families of these patients, the images of their happy faces were his motive, and more, Xabi knew his brother would be pleased to see from heaven. “BANG!!!” Without any notice, a big bang blew out! Everyone was screaming and crying and running with the top speeds out the rooms and the building, fear and tears occupied the space and what people knew was getting out as quick as they could. Xabi was one of them too, as he approached near the emergency exit with his research results in hand; he realized Stevie was not among them. Without much thinking, Xabi immediately ran back. It was difficult to get through the people who were all rushing out; the Spaniard tried his best to get to his love as soon as possible. The soft lad was horrified for what he saw, the door of Stevie’s office was on fire. “Stevie! Are you here? Answer me amor!” Xabi had never faced this situation before, he was scared, but he knew he needed to stay calm; saving the Scouser was what he had to do. “Xabi, just go! Don’t bother me! Just go! I’ll be fine! Just go!” Stevie shouted with all his effort, coughed seriously as the thick smoke got inside his lungs. The Scouser knew he couldn’t really get out from here, fire around blocking the door and even the windows, he knew it’d be his time, however, Xabi should never suffer from this, the kind-hearted boy deserved a good future. Stevie prayed for Xabi at the moment, he was never a faithful Christian, but what he wanted was just some mercies for the soft lad, his love, hoping his begging would work for just once. Xabi broke into the room with his body, his gown was on fire but he couldn’t bother it anymore. Gerrard could never forget the scene Xabi handed the research notes to him and pushed him out the burning room, It was Xabi’s last face. Stevie fainted as the smoke was too thick; it’s Carra who brought him out finally. It was 24th November, 2005, the day just before Xabi’s birthday. Announcement said it was gas leakage. “Stevie, please, keep our research, make our dream comes true! And promise me, stay alive! Stay good for me!” Stevie didn’t break his promise, he worked extra hard on the research all days and nights, finally he did it. He even got the Nobel Prize for it! However, what he wanted was Xabi, and only Xabi, he would be willing to give whatever he had to get Xabi back. The doctor was too tired to stay awake after a busy day and gradually fell asleep with the watch in his hand. Stevie woke up with a long sleep and found that he was no longer in his office; he looked at his pocket-watch and realized that it was already 11am. The doctor was wondering where he was and realized it was their room, the room he shared with Xabi when they’re having the last days. Stevie was further shocked as he saw himself back to 25 in the mirror and the photo of Xabi in the watch was as new as the day Xabi presented to him. “You are a lazy pig, amor,” the voice brought Stevie back and as he turned his head, Xabi was ready to press a kiss on him, a long and furious kiss they always shared. Gerrard glanced at the calendar and horrified, it was 24th November, 2005! Tags: alonso, carra, daniel, gerrard, nando, stevie, xabi
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Title: Does the love, or just friendship still exist? (Chapter 4/6)
Chapter Title: " Drowning "
Pairing: Xabi Alonso/Steven Gerrard
Summary: Xabi was lost, things kept coming up to him and he just found it a bit too harsh
Feedback: Your support is my source of energy!!!
Disclaimer: Angst and something more Drowning Xabi was so lost. He kept telling himself to calm down but it didn't really help much. Fortunately, he managed to get back home safely in spite of the images of Stevie shouting at him which stirred around his head. He threw himself inside the apartment feeling mindless, like a zombie. He then rushed to the bathroom for a hot shower, hoping the water would drain his sorrow and bring his life back to him. His worries came back as he stood beneath the shower; water mixed with tears washing all over his body, and as usual, the lad didn't make a sound, sobbing in silence as if he were afraid of disturbing someone, even though there was no-one else there. He was always a caring person. Feeling much better as he got out from the bathroom, he decided to set those troubles apart for the night and have a good sleep, refreshing his mind and bringing back the wise and calm Xabi. He dried his dripping hair before placing himself comfortably on the sofa, relaxing with some soft music. Suddenly, the phone rang, a hope flew through his mind, and the image of Stevie giving him an apologetic look appeared for a second. However, unpleasant news came up instead. Soon, Xabi was in panic, getting to the airport with Rafa waiting for him. He was wanting so much to call the captain, to share his tension and worries, and to gain some support from the important one. Xabi stopped dialing half-way through, however. Stevie must still be angry with me, no? He gave himself a sad smile and continued his lonely journey. "Xabi, I hope it is not too harsh for you and I'm sure it will be fine very soon." Rafa patted him, trying to comfort the young Spaniard, who he had never seen so confused and helpless, never even during his long injury before. "It's a big issue, but it will be fine, I know it will be fine!" Xabi didn't reply; he could actually hardly reply or he would burst into tears. He never wanted this to happen, never, and at this very moment, his support was absent: his dear friend was not there. "Well, Stevie seems to have turned off the mobile. I'll call Jamie instead and leave him the message." Rafa kept dialling his mobile to reach the captain, but it seemed that Stevie was too angry to pick up any call and had decided to turn the phone off. "Jamie, yes, it's me, listen, Xabi and I are going to Spain right now. I will inform you as soon as there is further news for us, yes. I can't reach Stevie. Please help me to inform him as soon as you can. Thanks."
( Click "Drowning -- Backstreet Boys " )
" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Cause everytime I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
Maybe I'm a drifter
Late at night
Cause I long for the safety
Of flowing freely
In your arms
I don't need another life line
It's not for me
Cause only you can save me
Oh can't you see
I can't imagine life
Without your love
And even forever don't seem
Like long enough
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "
A teardrop fell from his beautiful eyes, the hazel diamonds that usually warmed everyone. Rafa was asleep by his side and surely wouldn't notice. The cabin was dark and most of the passengers were resting with just a few lights on: no one would really care, no one would care. Xabi felt it was not right but just couldn't stop the tears, drop by drop in the silence as he heard the song. He was bewildered and not sure about the thing that was actually bothering him.
His life seemed to be like one long car-crash lately, taking him offguard: the way people talked about his possible transfer and the long injury that kept him away from many good chances to prove himself. So many things he'd had to deal with in a number of hours, or maybe, there was one more - his captain. He longed so much for the Scouser's support, especially at this very moment, so much thirsty for the hug from him, the hug which was strong, encouraging and warm, giving so much courage for Xabi to fight his battles and knowing the support would be there whenever he asked. However, he was wrong, Stevie seemed not to care about him anymore: all his courage had escaped, the fear kept his body shivering, and he had never felt so weak . . . . . . . .
The night before the match against Luton at Kenilworth Stadium, Xabi finally got back to his apartment. He was so exhausted that the only thing in his mind was to drop into the bed. Suddenly, something got into his sight, something just in front of his door.
A bag of cookies.
He picked up the cold and hardened bag of cookies, wondering where the thing laid in front of the door had come from. Suddenly, an idea flashed into his mind, making his nerves boil. "It must be Stevie! He knows I love this bakery!" He rushed to the phone and quickly dailed his number without thinking, but then, the Spaniard stopped mid-way. "He should be in bed, and maybe it's from someone else, maybe Carra, or Nando, they are always nice to me." Xabi could help himself falling into another sorrowful moment as he laid on the bed, his mind stirring with these ideas.
He got up early in the morning, after a sleepless night. He brought himself under a hot shower before getting to the meeting point . As he arrived, Carra told him Stevie was not playing due to his calf injury and although he tried to hide his disappointed face, the kind and caring Scouser realized and said:
"Rafa really worried me a lot but I'm so glad to see yer coming back for the match. How did things go?"
"It will not be over so soon I am afraid. Thanks Carra."
"I guess I'm not the only one having concerns. Our captain wasn't very pleased about your absence at trainings." Carra looked at his long face and teased him. "But it will be fine, yer should a sweetheart to all of us, hahaha. Actually Stevie is very worried about yer. He just doesn't want to admit but I know he cares very much for yer, lad."
Xabi flushed and immediately got on the shuttle bus with his bag.
The match was not a nice one. During the first half, the match was dominated by the Reds, although no shots actually got into the net. The first goal came from Crouchie at 74 minutes together with one from Johnny at 79 minutes, though, the latter one was in their own net. With the exhaustion carried over from last night, Xabi's mind flew to his dear captain, and as a result he seriously underperformed. The ball passed to him was lost as he didn't actually see it coming. Luckily, there were no further mistakes and it came to a draw.
Rafa reminded Xabi to pay full attention to the match whenever he was on the pitch before they were dismissed. Carra, however, came with concerns.
"Yer a'right? Yer seemed so exhausted. What's happened to yer?"
"Yea, I'm fine thanks Carra. Maybe I just need to get some rest." Xabi was so sure that wasn't all right at all. His mind was full of guilt: guilty to have played a part in such a horrible match, but mostly, guilty that he had misunderstood the captain, the captain who never knew how to express his care but who cared for him the most! He should not have treated the captain like that! He should know the way he shouted at him didn't really mean anything. It was just that he was too nervous to show his feelings!
Xabi was so destroyed by his mistakes that he decided to go back home directly and think of a way to get things sorted. As the Spaniard arrived at his apartment, however, something was in his sight! The unexpected! Tags: alonso, carra, gerrard, nando, steven, stevie, xabi
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Title: Swear It Again, Stevie! Pairing: Xabi Alonso/Steven Gerrard Warning: A little erotic scene, but surely enjoyable! Summary: What are they talking about on the bed? Feedback: Your comments are my support! Author: stevielovesxabi Swear It Again, Stevie!
Xabi opened the door, he saw the one he's always been waiting for.
"Would ye like to invite me in? It's a bit freezing outside" Stevie smirked at Xabi as he approached inside, hiding something back from the cute who replied him with a gentle smile. Stevie always loved the smile, it's the childlike smile from an angel, so peaceful that can melt everyone's heart, especially Stevie's.
"Stevie," he couldn't bear the way Xabi called his name, "why don't you give me a hug when you see me?"
"Well, that's nothing hurry, right?" Xabi was not sure if he saw the evil smile from Stevie, he could help to keep his frustration and pulled a long face.
"Stevie, I am sorry that I may not have enough food for both of us tonight as I didn't expect you to come being your call an hour ago, would you mind some bread instead?" Xabi asked Stevie as he checked the fridge, it seemed that Stevie didn't mind at all. "Between, how's Alex and the girls?"
"Out again, with my monther-in-law and wouldn't be back tonight, that's why I'm here for ye, sweetie!" trying hard to hide the thing under the bed.
As dinner began, Xabi put on some light music as usually, everyone was so relaxed and happy as they chatted about the funny things in and out of the team. Of course, the wine did help too!
"Oh, Xabi, you've got some sauce on the face, oh, my little kid!"
"Where is it?" Xabi kept searching for the stain and seemed a bit helpless.
"Let me do it." as Stevie leaned closer, he could stop saying, "You look so cute sweetie, I wish I can take care of you for my whole life." and then, kissed the gentle kid furiously as he saw him blushing so much. "No stain at all, honey, just want to kiss ye so so much."
Xabi bit him on his chest lightly with his fist, kissed back immediately, wanting so much his partner feeling how deep his love was. Stevie surrounded his arms around his waist, stroking the spaniard's back and enjoying the flooding love from the angel. They were so much in love. They approached the bed without leaving each other's lips and started pulling off their clothes. They were both naked on the bed in a minute or two. Stevie laid on the sweetie, kissing the boy all over, and suddenly, he fell on the floor.
"Oh my God, are you alright Stevie?" the worried angel looked down at once.
"Happy New Year!" Stevie gave the lad a big smile, presenting a jewelry box in front of him. "I know it's a bit late, but I just have the chance today and I would really like to present you this gift, have I scared ye?" He saw the red eyes of the lad as he grabbed the box, feeling so warm from the spaniard's worries and being so glad to see how much the boy treasured the gift.
"I love you Stevie."
"I love you too, Xabi, would ye like to take a look at your gift?"
It's a pendant, a silver pendant from Gucci, with the monogram pattern carved on one side, and as Xabi turned it around, he saw "S loves X forever" at the back. He knew the Scouser loved Gucci, and he knew why he bought him the gift from the shop, he never liked extravagance but just Gucci, not only because it's Stevie's favourite brand, but the name started with "G", the "G" shared by his love. And this time, his captain got him so many "G"s, he understood how desperate the captain wanted to stay in his mind.
They went back to the love making, which now came in an even more passionate way. The two lads kissed each other deeply, from the lips to the chests, filling each other with their love, their passion and their wish, the wish to stay besides each other until their lives ended.
Xabi laid in the captain's arm after the vigorous exercises, staring up the ceiling.
"Why don't ye take a rest, Xabi?" pressing a light kiss of the spaniard face with an exhausted look. " Still thinking of something? Can I help ye?"
"Stevie, I'm a bit worried," Xabi looked serious and he continued, "Are you sure you want to be with me forever?"
Stevie felt so annoyed as he remembered the words on the pendant. "Of course, there is no way I can leave you, Xabi, you are my all, I don't know if I can still be alive without you."
"Are you sure? Even after Nagore gives birth to my child?"
"Yes."
"Even I have to spend much of my time accompanying the two?"
"Yes."
"Even if I am sold to Real Madrid in the coming season?"
"Yes, Xabi, yes, because I love ye, one other thing, promise me not to leave Liverpool, okay?"
"I will try my best, Stevie, I promise. Back to the question, are you sure you love me till we die even I move out Merseyside?"
"Yes, Xabi, trust me, I won't leave you."
"Can you swear?"
"I swear my love, I swear I will give you all my love for the rest of my life! So, take a rest okay? Ye really need some rest my sweetie, you look so tired!"
After some minutes of silence, Stevie could feel his lover in his sleep. Just before he closed his eyes, he heard Xabi's murmur. "Stevie, I love you, I always love you, please don't ever think of leaving me alone........."
Stevie comforted the lad and spoke to his ears, "I would never leave ye, Xabi." he then started singing,
"Swear It Again"
"I wanna know
who ever told you I was letting go
of the only joy that I have ever known
girl, they're lying
just look around
and all of the people that we used to know
have just given up, they wanna let it go
but we're still trying
so you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I just you and I
I'm never gonna say goodbye
cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
and I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
and I swear it all over again
all over again
some people say
that everything has got its place in time
even the day must give way to the night
but I'm not buying
cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
and if you see how beautiful you are to me
you'll know I'm not lying
sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
but even if we try
there are something's in this life won't be denied
won't be denied
I'm never gonna say goodbye
cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
and I swear it all over again and I I'm never gonna treat you bad
cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
and I swear it all over again
the more I know of you, is the more I know I love you,
and the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
and the more that you love me, the more that I know
oh that I'm never gonna let you go
gotta let you know that I
I'm never gonna say goodbye (I never gonna say goodbye)
cos I never wanna see you cry (I never wanna see you cry)
I swore to you my love would remain
and I swear it all over again and I (swear it all over again, and I)
I'm never gonna treat you bad (I never wanna treat you bad)
cos I never wanna see you sad (I never gonna see you sad)
I swore to share your joy and your pain (oh no, oh no)
and I swear it all over again
all over again
all over again
and i swear it all over again"
"I will never let you go, Xabi, I swear...." whispered the captain.
The spaniard slept peacefully again with a smile, an angelic smile.Tags: steven gerrard, stevie, xabi, xabi alonso
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Title: Does the love, or just friendship still exist? (Chapter 3/6)
Chapter Title: " Wishing You were Somehow Here Again" (named after the song from The Phantom of the Opera)
Pairing: Xabi Alonso/Steven Gerrard
Summary: What Stevie really wants? He doesn't know it either, this is his first time in life to be that lost.......
Feedback: Would be very much appreciated and welcomed!!!!
Author: stevielovesxabi
Wishing You were Somehow Here Again
Things happening in the world may sometimes be a bit tragical...... although it may also be too unbearable for someone to face.
Before getting to Xabi's flat, you rushed to the city's best bakery for a bag of cookies, the British snacks that Xabi loved so much. As your dear friend arrived at Liverpool years ago, you tried your best to be all nice and kind to the new teammate as the captain, showing the soft lad how the city looked, what the scousers usually did during leisure and the night life for the lads. Despite yourself being an absent-minded captain and didn't really know how to show your care, you was trying very hard to bond the lad with all others, and unexpectedly, finding a tight bond between you and him in the end.
After a match against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, you brought the Spaniard to the Cliveden House Hotel for his first English afternoon tea since he became a Red. Wanting to welcome the younger with a grand and luxury break in the classy hotel, the hotel at which Alex and you finally got engaged years after. "Xabi, remember to dress up a bit as it's the tradition for such a hotel." Then, it turned out having him dressed in a suit. "Are you serious?" you laughed at him for taking every word of you and at the same time, amazed. Amazed with how gorgeous and stunning the lad looked in suit with his hair laying neatly. The lad was just all shy and nearvous with your teasing before you patted him to comfort. The pastries were served with the tea and he could see his eyes shining with curiousity.
"Are these cookies? No? We don't have these in Spain and they are delicious!" he held the last piece and asked you, then, finished it with a happy smile, the smile you always liked to see. Since the gathering at the hotel, you could always see him holding a bag of cookies as he's relaxing, he even told you about a the best cookies-making bakery in the town! As your memories turned up, a smile just appeared on your face.
In the rain, you didn't even park your car and rushed into the bakery as you saw the store was now closing.
"Lady, please do me a favour, I would really like to buy something right the moment, would ye mind to let me in for just a few minutes?" nearly shouting behind the window of the door.
"I'm sorry but you should know that we close at 7pm." said the lady as she opened the door a bit.
"I know that, I know that, but just I really need the cookies for a very important one at the moment, I really need them! I upset a very best friend of mine and I really wish to send my apology with yer cookies, he really loves yer cookies!" you just repeated and repeated the last sentence.
"Our cookies are sold out." the lady said.
You were so tense and your mind got blank .......
"But I would like to appreciate you with fresh ones if you have the patient to wait poor little guy." smirked the lady, looking at you with all sympathetic and caring eyes.
Thanking her over and over again as you paid, the lady simply replied with her best wishes to your apology. Feeling the warmth from the cookies as well as the blessings from the lady as you waved her a goodbye and ran to the car. The rain was not going to stop, and so you decided to place the cookies inside your sweater to avoid it from being spoiled and immediately jumped into the car, cheers! The cookies were just fine as before! Without hesitation, you drove straight to your friend's apartment. You didn't try ring him up, because at the moment, surprise was what you wanted for the lad with the expectation of his smiling face when he saw the cookies. You kept practising the words so that Xabi could understand how sorry you were and how much you wanted him to stay in Liverpool, to stay besides you, not caring about the rumors anymore and again to be close to him as you always did in the past.
As you arrived, no light was actually showing from the window of Xabi's flat, wondering why he got to bed so early, "Maybe the lad is too upset for what I've done to him." you told yourself and rushed up the flat in the rain. You pressed the doorbell button, but no one answered. Pressing again and again, you decided to give him a call instead. The luck was absent as you tried and tried until the battery died out, all your calls were diverted to the mailbox. You started knocking at the door, hoping that there would be someone inside answered."Xabi, could ye please open the door? I need to tell ye something!" There was no answer again but the echos. After realizing the fact that he's not at home, you decided to wait for his return. Sitting on the floor with your back leaning on the door, you gazed at the bag of cookies in frustration, feeling the heat from it slipping away bit by bit, somehow similar to your chance meeting the lad tonight. You tried to put the bag of cookies inside your sweater, warming them with your body heat so that Xabi could taste the freshness when he came back, however, you were wrong, Xabi didn't come back all night. The sneezings woke ypu and you realized that you had fallen asleep outside his flat, you couldn't hold yourself from feeling defeated and before getting back to your car, you dropped the bag of cookies in front of the door with a broken heart.
You couldn't stop yourself from sneezing around even by the pills you've taken that morning, everyone you met at Melwood just showed his concern on your health, but that was too much for your care, all you wanted was asking Xabi where he has gone the night before. Training started soon, but he was not there.
"Where's that fucking Alonso?! Doesn't he know it's his duty to be punctual?!" you sounded on fire as Carra coming towards the pitch.
"He has flew to Spain last night, together with Rafa, Rafa called last night as he failed to reach ye." patting his palm on your shoulder. "It might be something about the deal with Real Madrid and Rafa didn't really tell me the details about the trip."
Blood draining out of your body as you were too horrified with the news. The image of Xabi wearing the Real Madrid jersey just couldn't let you go. You fought away Carra's caring arm and told yourself to focus on the training. Paying your full gear at the pitch just like a mad cow surprised everyone for too hard you were making yourself into. Carra knew very well the thing in your head and sighed as he saw you going mad. Being too harsh to yourself and with the cold you've just caught, you turned out to have a calf injury just before the section ended. As for your safety, Carra offered you a lift. The trip was all silent until you finally couldn't stand and asked.
"Xabi is going to leave, isn't he? He will not come back, right?"
Carra managed to reply with you a calm tone, hoping it would help out a bit to lessen the tension. "Things may not go in the way ye think, maybe they are just having some chats and all."
"They can simply use the bloody phone! It's me fault! I should have shouted out the fucking words! I never meant in that way, I was just too confused!" you broke out besides Carra, swearing at yourself for being so silly and hurt Xabi so much.
"Yer mate understands ye very well, he's the most caring one among us, he will never blame on ye, so don't blame yerself for such a thing."
"It's me fault, he's not going to come back." murmured repeatedly and repeatedly to yourself.
"Stevie, relax, everything will be fine, just wait for their return, will ye?" Carra patted on your shoulder again as you let your way out of the car and enter your house. Expecting Alex and the girls who can let you forget about your fault, you saw a Post-it from Alex on the refrigerator telling you that they would be staying with her parents for the night. "Why leaving me all alone at this very night?" you were so frustrated to know the fact and decided to take a quick shower and immediately rushed to your bed, trying to forget about the loneliness.
As you laid on your bed, you were barely able to sleep. Your mind kept spinning and spinning, the pictures of Xabi and you in the changing room in the previous day, the way you have been so harsh to the soft lad as he gave you a supportive smile, the way that the spaniard tried to comfort you with apologies even he has done nothing wrong and the way you have asked him to get out of your way...... Your heart was aching and you could no longer stand the dead silence. You decided to get up and turn the music player on.
(Click Here to listen)"You were once my one companion . . .
you were all that mattered . . .
You were once a friend and father -
then my world was shattered . . .
Wishing you were somehow here again . . .
wishing you were somehow near . . .
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed,
somehow you would be here . . .
Wishing I could hear your voice again . . .
knowing that I never would . . .
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
all that you dreamed I could . . ."
You found yourself sobbing when the tears dropped on your hands, you loved the song, but it was just coming out with a wrong timing. You were not able to enjoy the song at all for the old days kept spinning around your head, the old days when you two were so close. You remembered the first time you met the lad, he was so bright and talent, making you await the chance playing alongside with him. As he took the position besides you, you were amazed by his skills and the way that he understood you with just a glance, you two have been such a good pair of partners on the pitch, people even called you two the best partners in the midfield. Not only on the pitch, he has also become a very important mate in your life. His care, his understanding, his passions and his kindness were so well-known among the lads and they have been the source of comfort everytime you faced a defeat, everytime you were in trouble, even on the little matters between you and Alex, he never hesitated to show his concern. He was the only one that you wanted to share the joy with as you held up the Champion League Cup in Istanbul, the kiss, was actually from your heart.
"Too many years fighting back tears . . .
Why can't the past just die . . .?
Wishing you were somehow here again . . .
knowing we must say goodbye . . .
Try to forgive . . . teach me to live . . .
give me the strength to try . . .
No more memories,
no more silent tears . . .
No more gazing across
the wasted years . . .
Help me say goodbye . . .
Help me say goodbye . . ."
"Xabi, I don't want to say goodbye, just come back for me, I need ye."
Tears kept running out from your eyes until you're too tired to stand any longer, the song eventually brought you to sleep and suddenly, you mobile rang. Looking at the screen of it, you recognized it was a call from Spain! A call from Spain! It must be Xabi!!! You picked the call immediately and feeling your heart bumping vigorously.
"Xabi! Where are you?!"
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Title: Does the love, or just friendship still exist? (Chapter 2/6) Chapter Title: " Think of Me" (named after the song from The Phantom of the Opera) Pairing: Xabi Alonso/Steven Gerrard Summary: Stevie cannot stand the tension any longer~ Feedback: Would be very much appreciated and welcomed!!!! Author: stevielovesxabi Think of Me
"What a fucking mistake I have made!" the idea kept spinning in Stevie's mind as they were heading back to the changing room after the match to Wigan ended with a draw.
As always, Stevie pulled a long face with his dissatisfaction towards the match, and mostly because the mistake caused a draw which meant they have dropped another 2 points in the league. However, it was not only the match that bothers his mind, it's something else, something that matters him a lot, Xabi.
Stevie was so glad to have Xabi playing alongside with him again, after his long injury. Xabi meant so much to him, he's the best ever DFM for Stevie and the the Reds, he's the best partner Stevie ever had who made good and smart passings as well as tackles. With his presence, Stevie could simply focus more on putting the ball inside the goal. He played a so much important role for Liverpool, or maybe he played an important role for Stevie too, Stevie just couldn't resist himself thinking of this.
There was no doubt for Stevie to learn the rumors of how much Real Madrid have wanted to get Xabi for his skills and talents, and for the coming transfer window, they were going to try all their best to acquire him, putting even more effort than Barca and they did during the previous one. As always, Xabi looked as calm as ever, without a hint of anxiety and worry, keeping himself in form, making careful preparations and performing his best on the pitch. Stevie had absolutely no clue for what things were in Xabi's mind, that made him feel really bad.
"How can he be so stubborn, damn Xabi, he is not even going to discuss with me!" anger arose as he throws his boots inside the adidas bag, spying on Xabi's expression.
Xabi didn't look much different comparing the moment they marched out of the pitch before the match, as calm and gentle as ever. As Xabi realized Stevie staring at him, he replied with a warm little smile, he just wanted his smile letting the captain know there was nothing wrong with his performance on the pitch and showed how he's willing to support him, the captain he adored so much. Unfortunately, the captain hasn't got the same idea.
" Ye find it funny, huh?!" Stevie just couldn't stand anymore and swore at Xabi as nearly everyone has gone except Carra.
" What?" replied Xabi with an innocent tone, surprised with his captain's question.
" Don't throw me that innocent face for Christ's sake! I'm sick of it! Yea, I made a mistake, but don't dare to challenge me when ye've such a horrible performance! You're no different from me!" the captain shouted as his face turned red, he knew well that Xabi wouldn't be harsh on him, but just he couldn't control his anger out of nowhere.
" Sorry Stevie, if I have made you misunderstand, I'm sorry." feeling hurt and depressed, Xabi knew it'd be the best to apologize so as to make the one he cared felt better despite he didn't know what made him mad, however, he's wrong this time.
" Damn ye, don't make yourself sound innocent I said! Fuck off and get out of me sight!" Stevie didn't know what he's doing, he felt sick just when he thought of what he has shouted at his Xabi. Xabi heard of that, immediately packed his belongings and rushed out of the changeing room, Carra was so sad to see how Xabi looked like a wounded pigeon.
(Click Here to listen at the same time)
"Think of me, think of me, fondly
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while --
please promise me you'll try.
When you find that, once again,
you long to take your heart back
and be free -- if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me . . ."
It's the song that Xabi loved, a song from the famous opera ever, and most importantly, a opera that Stevie has once enjoyed with him a long time ago. Xabi was a culture-lover, he loved operas as well, the time when they went to London, Stevie just agreed to watch it with him as they had nothing much to do the day after a big match. The song has reminded him the old days again and surely he wanted desperately to tell Stevie what he thought with the lyrics all the time, however, things seemed to go in the opposite. Xabi managed to keep himself from dropping tears and drove safe, but his heart was emptied.
He didn't ask for much, but things were just too dramatical as at one moment he was happy with be in a hug with Stevie, and in another his captain asked him to fuck off out of no reason. He felt so defeated and he didn't know what to do. His worries on being sold to Real Madrid for the terms being attractive to his Kop. Graffer just mentioned he would have no way to sell both Stevie and Nando under any conditions without naming him too, would he become one of the chips for the coming deals? He would be glad to be back in Spain, but he just couldn't bear the goodbyes to the Kop, to the local fans, and maybe to his captain.
" What's happened ye jerk?!" shouted Carra as he pushed him on the bench.
" Can't ye see him teasing me? I don't think a captain deserve such an encouragement!" fired back from the captain.
" What the hell is in yer head? Do ye think the soft lad would do this to anyone?! Looked at his expression as he left the room, he's done nothing! He didn't deserve such a hit!" Carra was so disappointed with Stevie for his accusation towards the wounded pigeon.
"How was he.........." learning his caring words betraying himself, Stevie immdiately lowered his head and stared at his bag on the ground.
" What's the problems between ye two? Ye have been such a pair of perfect partners." patting Stevie's shoulder and continued. " Ye two were just so apart these months, and worse ye even shouted at him today!"
" I'm sorry, Carra, I didn't mean that. I'm just too overwhelmed with the rumors out everywhere." Stevie gave Carra a sorrow face as he said.
" Stevie, ye mean the loving stuff between you two?" Carra laughed.
" Fuck off, I'm talking about Xabi's transfer!" the captain blushed as he replied. He read some of the journals talking about them as others, and he laughed in the way everyone did, but he didn't laugh because of finding them funny, he didn't know the reason himself too, he just felt his heart glowing. But at the same time, he awared that Xabi and him might look too close in front of the world, so, although he didn't like to, he pushed Xabi a bit away from his life and believed that their relationship would still be the same.
" Our captain gets embarrassed! HAHAHA! Why don't ye just ask him about this? He trusts ye so much more than everyone else in the club. Carra pointed to the captain's red face.
" He's just preventing me, can't ye see?"
" What I see is our captain preventing contacts with the soft lad who is still as eager as before to open his arms for ye." Carra left the room with his last sentence. " Go and get him a chat, everone would like to see you two sticking up again! HAHAHA!"
"Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
Recall those days,
look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do --
there will never be a day,
when I won't think of you . . ."
Stevie rushed into his car and drove as fast as he could to Xabi's apartment to tell him how sorry he was and how much he wanted to stayed close to him. As he got on the car, the same song that he missed so much was just playing out. He remembered the song, the song from the opera, the only opera that he have watched in his life. It's Xabi who brought him to and he could see how excited Xabi was. The captain has never been a cultural person, but for his special friend, he didn't mind to try. He found that he's in love with the songs and the first time for his life, learning how touching lyrics could be.
" That's what I want to tell ye, Xabi, but I guess ye'll never know, me dear friend."Tags: alonso, carra, gerrard, steven, stevie, xabi
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Title: Does the love, or just friendship still exist? (Chapter 1/6) Chapter Title: " I need the beam... even for a few seconds... just a few seconds..." Pairing: Xabi Alonso/Steven Gerrard Summary: Xabi is no longer sure about what he felt and sensed~ Feedback: Would be very much appreciated and welcomed!!!! Author: stevielovesxabi I need the beam... even for a few seconds... just a few seconds...
After such a long time, the beam comes. Even I am just sharing a little tiny part of it, I am more than satisfied, yes, even sharing with the one I have such a complicated feelings on, I am actually glad to have this chance. It is the match towards Wigan on Anfield, the Kop is again crowded with people, with our supporters, the scene that I am always glad to see.
As the second half started, we kept running on the pitch and looking for the best opportunity. We have to win this match for our chance at the League. We need the all 3 points to fulfill our destiny and we play even harder in the the remaining 45mins. The chance comes! Nando, Finn and Stevie are in good positions! I make a long-range pass to Nando, Nando has a quick pass to Stevie and then to Finn, Finn crosses back to Nando....GOAL!!!!!!! What a perfect goal!
Immediately I run to Nando and celebrate his goal, he's my old friend, my friend from the National Team, a kind-hearted and passionate little buddy, though a bit shy, but love playing football deep in his heart. He's now the star for the Reds, shining like Stevie, and I'm sure Stevie likes him too, in the way they are always celebrating, the way that Stevie keeps on recalling him in front of the press...... just like the way we did in the old days...... the days long long ago......
Am I jealous?
We run along the pitch, and then, Stevie joins us and later on, so do others. He grabs his arm round my neck, I can feel his warmth, his excitement and his joy; the smile on his face, the happiness deep in his heart, that's all I want, even for just a few seconds, even I am sharing it with Nando....... or maybe stealing from what Nando deserves. The wordings is not what I care, what I care is now in my arm, although it lasts for a few seconds alone.
I know it sounds strange, but after the kiss at Istanbul, I just find myself having a strange feeling towards our captain. There is no doubt that he was just too excited and would like to share the joy with a kiss, a kiss with anyone nearby, however, I just cannot forget the memoriable moment.
We were once so close, sharing on every tiny stuff, his Alex, his girls his youngster life, and even our hairstyle and outlooks, I found myself digging my head into his life, I wanted to know everything that has happened on this gorgeous lad. His hegemony, his charisma, he's born to be the captain. He looked so attractive that I had a moment wishing I'm a girl. I don't know how to define my feeling towards him, I have Nagore with me, a beautiful and nice girl that every man will dream for, and my baby which Nagore brings me, the precious present and all, but Stevie, he still takes up a very special position in my heart. Sometimes I will go straight to help him out even Nagore is here in Liverpool. I just cannot understand the embedded reason.
As time flies, I find that we are no longer as close as before. Maybe I have attended too few matches during the year with my injury, maybe I'm not playing as well as the captain expects, or maybe, just maybe, his focus is now on someone else, on our new star, the liverbird recently joined us and brings us hopes. It's normal for a captain to take care of the new lad, especially one who's already a super star in the world football who can bring victories to the Reds. The Reds, that's all Stevie is thinking of. What I can do is just trying my best to get fit, for my own good and the Kop, or maybe, partly for delighting him. I don't know why I am thinking in this way, but, I guess I do really have that thought in my mind somehow. After some weeks, I am back on the pitch, and finally, playing alongside our captain. I am so glad to have my performance back to standard and maybe, also glad to have the chance to share victories with Stevie again. We are so apart these days and I hope we can be back to the old days again....... My tiny hope seems to be hard to come true as things haven't changed much after I'm back to the team. Maybe what I can do, is just waiting, waiting for the chance, or even the miracle.
Thank God that the beam shines again on me during the match, the shine that I have been longing for. Once again, after the joy, I am so confused with my feelings, why am I so joyful to have a simple hug from him? My brain keep spinning. Unfornately, the dreadful moment comes without notice. Bremble catches the clearing from Stevie and scores...... The long face on our captain is the least thing I want to see on earth. The match ends with a Draw and I can see how disappointed Stevie is.
I wish I can do something to make him smile again, even for a few seconds, however, it may no longer be my duty to do so, Nando pats on his shoulder and Stevie replies with a sad smile......
I am so proud of our loyal audience in every match for Liverpool, and therefore I am so proud of being a Red, however, the hidden reason for me to stay...... maybe, or just maybe waiting for the beam. Tags: alonso, fernando, gerrard, stevie, torres, xabi
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stevielovesxabi's journal
